Secret v. Tell the World

Initially only 3 people knew of my plans to be banded. I just didn't want to deal with everyone else's opinions. You know what the say about opinions...just like other things, everyone has one.

I had already done my research. I had done my soul search. I know my body and my addiction. I didn't need anyone to give me their 2 cents.

I like to consider myself the fattest weight loss expert on the planet. If there is a book, I have it. A diet, I've done it. A pill, gimmick, tool, tip, potion, lotion, bracelet, program, rub-on, spray-on, special shoe or whatever...I've done it. I even BOUGHT a franchised ladies only fitness center! Can any of you say that? I owned a stinkin' GYM people!

I know the scientific and medical facts of metabolism and nutrition. I'm a nurse. I know the number of calories in almost every food. I know the specific details of Adkins vs. SouthBeach vs. The Zone. I know and have relationships with Jenny and Nutri-Systems. I have joined Weight Watchers at least 20 times. Have the T-Shirt, the mug, the scales and the keychain!

I don't believe you can give me ONE weight loss fact that I haven't already heard and pondered over. I CAN tell all of you well intentioned family and friends a few things that YOU don't know. I have a FOOD ADDICTION! I am a drug addict when it comes to food. If you have seen Intervention or Hoarders you might begin to understand this situation. It is a pit of despair. I ate before functions so I wouldn't look like a pig. I hid food from my kids so I could have the last ________. I could and would eat 4 (FOUR) packages of instant oatmeal at a sitting. I could and would eat an entire Medium cheese pizza for a meal. I was eating as much or more than my husband or my 13 year old son at any given meal.

My family ate over $1600 a month in fast food in any given month. Wow. Sinful and Unhealthy. So I got a little off-course here.

My point is this: What am I hiding from? Why would I not tell people? Because of fear of failure? Because I don't want people to know I'm not perfect? Because I don't want people to think I took the easy way out? Because I don't want to be judged or talked about? Hmmm....all of these things are gonna happen whether I tell or don't. A co-worker of mine was blabbing her mouth about me having Bariatric Surgery before I even DECIDED to have surgery. Rumors are like wildfire. People will draw their own conclusions and say what they want. They will talk and judge no matter what. I decided I don't give two cares over what anyone thinks or says.

And that's it. Read on or move on, either way it's okay with me.