Friday, March 18, 2011

A Judgement Call...

There's this blog that I lurk around at every once in a while. I know of this family through the adoption world and I used to find their family facinating. I was so captivated by their ability to have so much going on and handle it all with such grace and true faith.

This is a good place to insert the fact that I am a terrible judge of character and my first impressions are almost always wrong.

Anyway, I have had the opportunity to follow (via blog) this family for over 2 years now.


Oh, how my first impressions definitely deceived me once again!

I think of this family nearly every day. I have caught myself judging them to the point of condemnation. I KNOW that the way they live is built on their own experiences and their own version of faith.

I know that my obsession with the way they live is sinful. I have tried to reason with myself and come to some logical explanation as to why I even give this family a second thought. They are clear across the country and I have no connection to them what-so-ever.

After much thought, I think I have come up with an answer as to why I think of them so often. Today, as I was cleaning my (too big) house and washing my (too many) clothes, I started to think that perhaps it's

MY outlook that is un-faith-filled. (my own made up word)

This family has 12 kids. It would be 13, but an adoption disrupted. Some are grown and out of the house but I think 6 or 7 of them still live at home. I belive all of the kiddos have been home-schooled. Mom and Dad are 50 years old. NEITHER parent is working, and they just announced that they are expecting. (yes, as in PREGGERS!)

They openly admit that they do not have money in the bank to pay April's bills. Yet they road trip across country far more often than my family of 4 goes on vacation. They attend marriage workshops and purchase books and stay in hotels and then plea on their blog for jobs and provision.

In my world, this is complete irresponsibility. Teetering on the brink of abusive to children who may not be provided with opportunities they need to car, college, social events, etc.

Now before you get all indignant, remember that this is my opinion on my blog...but I have ALWAYS thought that is is our responsibility as parents to provide our kids with everything they need to complete college or whatever technical training they will need to perform a meaningful, wage- paying, honest job.

WHERE is the responsibility in any of the antics of above said family?

Does anyone have an opinion on any of this?
Am I completely out of line? (I mean, aside from judging them)

Or am I living too conservatively?
Is my faith weak because I don't expect Jesus to intervene for me at every corner?

~ I rely on Jesus to press on me and whisper in my ear and encourage me to make good decisions. ~I rely on Jesus to watch over my family and give me discernment in dangerous or iffy situations. ~I rely on Jesus to heal my loved ones when they are in pain and ailing. ~I rely on Jesus to stay close to my children and wrap his arms about them when they are hurting and scared. ~I rely on Jesus to place people on the planet where they are needed to minister to unchurched, unloved and injured people. ~I would even rely on Jesus to provide for my family in the case of a catastrophic injury or some unexpected expense.

I do not rely on Jesus to pay my monthly bills.

What do you think?



At March 18, 2011 at 12:03 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it's yes and no...we should rely on Jesus for everything, even to pay our bills....but it's kinda like this saying..."2 farmers pray to God for rain, one farmer has faith and waits, the other farmer has faith, but goes and plows his fields...who really had faith?" read 2 Thessalonians 3:6-10. I think that pretty much sums it up. Everything we have comes from God, our smarts, abilities, job, everything. So although we are not to be lazy or idle, even what we receive from our hard work comes from the Lord. Does that make sense? Maybe the balance is for us to not become our own god. Some work hard & become self reliant others are lazy & expect others' hard work to help them. Some where in-between we should be.

At March 18, 2011 at 1:00 PM , Anonymous Kyla said...

What kind of parent teaches their children to rely on the generosity of others instead of making their own way in life? What kind of parent doesn't encourage further education in a child...spurs them to be better and self-reliant?
This family is very common in this day and time. Our society has encouraged hand-outs instead of Hand-ups. Until our society stands up and says "No more", this will continue throughout the next generation(s).

At March 18, 2011 at 1:38 PM , Blogger Amanda Kiska said...

I think you make very good, valid points, but I also think you should stop reading the blog. You can only be responsible for your own life and your own behavior and if you are judging this family and their decisions, that is your issue, not theirs.

At March 18, 2011 at 1:42 PM , Blogger TLM said... are absolutely right. I agree. ;)

At March 18, 2011 at 7:15 PM , Blogger A. Gillispie said...

I don't have any answers, but wanted to let you know that I struggle with this sort of "faith" living as well. I don't know who is right or wrong. In my case it's a large family that says they have brought the mission feild to their home, because of all of the children they have adopted. When they choose to adopt again they ask others to support their "ministry" by donating to pay all of the fees (and people do, pay all of their fees). I really struggle with that. Maybe I'm the one that's out of whack!

At March 19, 2011 at 9:44 PM , Anonymous BA said...

well said Meghan, I would agree that we should rely on Jesus for everything, including paying our bills

in addition, I think in America we have a warped sense of "providing" for our children...compared to a Christian world view that is, the very BEST thing you can do (and must do IMO) for your children is to teach them about is great and all but that isn't going to get them to heaven and if some Christian families are not putting a ton of emphasis on providing that for their children, so be it...I would be more concerned about a Christian family that was not providing spiritually for their children

I would rather see my children poor and faithful to God than rich and unfaithful to God...I know that will make some people mad but that is a Christian world view


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