Friday, March 18, 2011

A Judgement Call...

There's this blog that I lurk around at every once in a while. I know of this family through the adoption world and I used to find their family facinating. I was so captivated by their ability to have so much going on and handle it all with such grace and true faith.

This is a good place to insert the fact that I am a terrible judge of character and my first impressions are almost always wrong.

Anyway, I have had the opportunity to follow (via blog) this family for over 2 years now.


Oh, how my first impressions definitely deceived me once again!

I think of this family nearly every day. I have caught myself judging them to the point of condemnation. I KNOW that the way they live is built on their own experiences and their own version of faith.

I know that my obsession with the way they live is sinful. I have tried to reason with myself and come to some logical explanation as to why I even give this family a second thought. They are clear across the country and I have no connection to them what-so-ever.

After much thought, I think I have come up with an answer as to why I think of them so often. Today, as I was cleaning my (too big) house and washing my (too many) clothes, I started to think that perhaps it's

MY outlook that is un-faith-filled. (my own made up word)

This family has 12 kids. It would be 13, but an adoption disrupted. Some are grown and out of the house but I think 6 or 7 of them still live at home. I belive all of the kiddos have been home-schooled. Mom and Dad are 50 years old. NEITHER parent is working, and they just announced that they are expecting. (yes, as in PREGGERS!)

They openly admit that they do not have money in the bank to pay April's bills. Yet they road trip across country far more often than my family of 4 goes on vacation. They attend marriage workshops and purchase books and stay in hotels and then plea on their blog for jobs and provision.

In my world, this is complete irresponsibility. Teetering on the brink of abusive to children who may not be provided with opportunities they need to car, college, social events, etc.

Now before you get all indignant, remember that this is my opinion on my blog...but I have ALWAYS thought that is is our responsibility as parents to provide our kids with everything they need to complete college or whatever technical training they will need to perform a meaningful, wage- paying, honest job.

WHERE is the responsibility in any of the antics of above said family?

Does anyone have an opinion on any of this?
Am I completely out of line? (I mean, aside from judging them)

Or am I living too conservatively?
Is my faith weak because I don't expect Jesus to intervene for me at every corner?

~ I rely on Jesus to press on me and whisper in my ear and encourage me to make good decisions. ~I rely on Jesus to watch over my family and give me discernment in dangerous or iffy situations. ~I rely on Jesus to heal my loved ones when they are in pain and ailing. ~I rely on Jesus to stay close to my children and wrap his arms about them when they are hurting and scared. ~I rely on Jesus to place people on the planet where they are needed to minister to unchurched, unloved and injured people. ~I would even rely on Jesus to provide for my family in the case of a catastrophic injury or some unexpected expense.

I do not rely on Jesus to pay my monthly bills.

What do you think?


Monday, March 14, 2011

March Meltdown...

I was soo on track. I had posted 3 times before the middle of February. I was gonna be back to my regular musings that entertained all three of you and kept you glued to the edges of your seats...

Ugh. Life. It soo gets in the way sometimes.

I had a little melt down. Some of you know that I have been to Ghana, and I have adopted and I went back to Ghana with some friends last summer. In fact, my last post was about some of the great things that went on while we were on that trip. Warm. Fuzzy. Nice.

Every silver lining has a cloud, right? Right. Said cloud began to pour on me about 3 days after my last post. A group of 20 people will have 20 ideas and 20 agendas and 20 personalities and 20 opinions. Two groups of 20 people will have 40 ideas and 40 agendas.....well, you get the idea.

Sometimes more is less.
Sometimes bigger isn't better.

I want to calf-rope. I want to throw my hands in the air and walk away from the difficultness. I could easily wash my hands of the whole thing and find an "easier" Ghanaian project to support. BUT...

I have two VERY dear friends and an adolescent boy in Ghana that I pray for every night. I won't give up my ties to Northern Ghana because of these people. I will support and try to help however I can because these lives touched mine.

My life was forever changed because of some VERY SPECIFIC faces and people in the community of Vea.

Pray for me. Pray for Vea. And Pray for Matt Turner because I think he will be the one to get it all done.

Peace and Grace!